Serenity

Death is such an awkward thing to deal with. It truly comes like a thief in the night. Death is unexpected or even when we know it’s coming it still leaves us unsettled. Last Friday morning my Grandmother Irene passed away. Her death did not come as a surprise. She had been in and out of hospitals and rehab centers since August. We realized she would be leaving us, yet once it happens it still left us speechless.

It is so weird, almost spooky, to think that from now on I will never visit her home again. Both she and her husband aka my grandfather have left us. No more trips into town to see them from time to time. No more trips to visit them over the holidays. No more Klondike bars, or Reese’s Pieces waiting for us at the front door. No more discussing the good ole days with them, or hearing about my grandpa’s Navy days or going bike riding with him. No more trips to Steak N Shake. No more getting a high five from my grandmother as I walk toward her for a hug. Those are now only  pleasant memories.

My grandmother wasn’t the type to show her emotions. At times it was a struggle to understand her thoughts. Toward the final few years of her life she grew cold. She was a bit difficult to deal with. She wanted to remain alone and isolated from the outside world. She was always a stern woman, yet her love was still expressed. One thing I respected about her was that she was strong. She did not allow others to change her ways easily. She never wished for anyone to worry about her. I do not agree with all her opinions nor decisions, yet I know that she loved me and that is all that truly matters. The final few times I visited her she asked me about my novel, how it is going and such. She told me that she was proud of me and the man I am becoming. I’ll never forget that.

Lots of people fear death. Death can be frightening,  but I see it in a hasty manner. Death is what happens when a soul can no longer take on the world. The body is ready for rest in an eternal slumber. Death hears our worries. Death prepares us for the journey ahead. I’m thankful that both my grandfather and grandmother lived a long and prosperous life. They did not always get along on earth, but I’m sure they’re well together in heaven. I’m sad that they’re gone, but I’m more thankful for the time I had with them. They were a part of my life for almost a whole twenty two years. That is something to be joyful about. One of my best friends said it best,” The people you love will always be in your heart.”

 

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